We All Have A Story And We All Have Walls To Knock Down
In Jamie Ivey’s book, “If You Only Knew”, she spills the beans about her past. She doesn’t sugar coat it. She lets you into the brokenness and then shows you how in the world God turned all that around.
Let’s be real, we are all a little messy right? Well, today we are going to let you into that at least a little!
I’ve been hearing this quote like crazy lately and it says, “Turn your mess into your message.” That is what the goal is here.
Here are some of the bits of my mess and I hope that someone out there in the world resonates with them on some level.
On the surface, I’m a girl. I am a “normal” 21-year-old. Just like the rest of ‘em, I love hanging out with my friends, I love coffee, I am a donut connoisseur (maybe that one is just me), and on a good day, I might even brush my hair.
What you don’t see in this description is the fear that held me down for many, many years.
What you don't see are the arguments and anger and lost friendships that have taken place behind the scenes.
What you don't see is the socially anxious side of the girl that wanted to crawl into a shell for 20 years before reaching out for help.
Insecurity was my sport. For most of my life, I lived in hiding and failed to let anyone know if something was up in my family life or in my brain. I was constantly afraid of what the world around me would think.
This led to a slew of mental health struggles and a bout of shame.
Somewhere in all the hiding, I was given the chance to journal, to pray, and to find out that I was most definitely not the only one faking it and shutting the world out.
The world can be a cruel place.
But the world can also be loving and welcoming.
Sometimes we could get doors slammed in our faces, but AH when we don’t and we get friendship and respect and understanding instead, it is life changing.
Stories have a lot of power. I might not know exactly what you are going through, but I do know that it isn’t fun to live in a constant state of anxiousness.
This is by no means all of the brokenness in my life. Wow, I have made mistakes. I want to make that clear because holy moly, growth is a PROCESS.
However, based on the conversations with those around me, I am not the only one dealing with some hurt from my past and my present.
There are people near me dealing with heartbreak.
There are people near me dealing with depression.
There are people near me that have lost loved ones.
There are people globally facing a lot of issues that I couldn't even begin to comprehend such as human trafficking, or famine, or EXTREME poverty.
This world is broken. We don’t need to act like we all have it together.
Enter into the brokenness alongside people and walk with them through the hurt. We need more of that.
Please, don't take this as a venting session about my life.
What this is is a reminder that God can and will take the hurt and the pain and the mess and use it to further his kingdom, even when it is painful.
Thanks, Jamie Ivey. Thanks for reminding me that what I am facing as a 21-year-old doesn’t mean I am walking through this life alone.